I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
