you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
