I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
