you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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