So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
