its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
