I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
