how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
