"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
