WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Even my vagina gasped.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
