i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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