That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
