please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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