would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize