one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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