I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize