so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
