He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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