I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize