He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
