There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
