I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
