Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
