k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
