i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
