I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
