Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
