Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize