am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
