In the future we'll all be gay
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
