But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
