It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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