any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
