literally had 100 drinks last night.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize