8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
