We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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