I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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