i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
