You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
