I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
