I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
