Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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