hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize