You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
