so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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