Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
