think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
