We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
