Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
