D3 body, D1 cock
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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