she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
