talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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