Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
