My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
