Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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