Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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