i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
