Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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